10 days have passed since my exam was over. I have discussed my feelings with several friends, but I haven’t recorded them for myself. So now I’m going to do it.
First of all, it was disappointing that I didn’t receive the grade I had hoped for. I wasn’t expecting to receive the lowest score in the speaking section. Looking back on my process, I didn’t spend enough time practicing speaking; I only spent around 20 days speaking, and most of the time I just wanted to say stuff I memorized but didn’t truly understand the content.
I didn’t spend enough time practicing speaking; I just spent around 20 days speaking and most of the time I just wanted to say things that I memorized but didn’t really know their meaning. Although I couldn’t feel nervous when I was speaking to the examiner, I forgot every strategy and technique I had learned. What’s worse is that I twice misheard the questions. I believe that’s why I had poor grades.
I had a low mark in the writing section as well, but I knew why. I wrote two bad essays and didn’t expect to earn good marks, but I ended up with a 6 in writing, which was higher than my speaking grade. I know what level I’m at because I haven’t written anything in English in decades and have no idea how to construct an essay.
I got a low score in the writing part too, but I knew the reason. I wrote two terrible essays and I didn’t expect I could get high scores, but in the end I got 6 in writing, even higher than speaking. I know what level I’m at - I haven’t written anything in English for decades, and I really don’t know how to write an essay. I understood that the score represented my level.
That exam reminded me of what I really wanted: to be able to manage English in my daily life like a native. What I need to do next is continue learning and practicing speaking, but more importantly, I need to learn how to write in English from the ground up.
I’ve already purchased some writing reference books, and I’ve started studying some fundamental words that I can use every day. I’m hoping to actually advance rather than just pretending to.